I have, at long last, found a solution to the problem posed by the ocean of debt which engulfs our nation. Thanks for waiting. It turns out, according to numerous emails which I receive every day, that I have won a great many lotteries and have vast sums of money ready to be deposited to my account from people around the world who are just looking for ways to send funds to the U.S. ! By my cursory calculations, I believe that I, alone, am due several billions of dollars and/or pounds sterling. Am I alone in my willingness to give a good bit of this to the good old U.S.A.? I'll bet not. I'll bet there are many Righteous Americans, like myself, who would gladly receive all those funds which have been promised us, much of which seems to come from Africa (?), and give, perhaps as much as 50% to our government to help get us through this national crisis.
What do you say? How much of your spam money is simply lying there, mouldering in some foreign account, because you haven't been able to think how you might use the extra cash? Do your bit for your country, my fellow Americans! By the way, if you have trouble figuring out exactly how to direct these funds, due to the complexities of our vast government, just send them here and I will certainly assist.